By: Mary G. Commander
You should not call a divorce lawyer when you’re mad or just need to vent.
First, you won’t be able to get a good lawyer on the phone.
Good lawyers are not available to random strangers who want to complain about their spouses.
Good lawyers are busy with current clients, resolving cases.
The only lawyers you can get to listen to you spew poison are the inexperienced ones who are not busy.
At best, calling a lawyer when you’re mad is wasting your time. At worst, they’re enabling your destructive behavior and costing you money.
Second, call a friend instead.
A friend or family member is probably best right now when you want to talk smack about your spouse.
For real help in dealing with the emotional turmoil of divorce, therapists can be invaluable.
Divorce Lawyers Don’t Do What You Think They Do
Lawyers are Not Weapons of Mass Destruction
A divorce lawyer’s job isn’t to help you destroy your spouse. Sure, you can find some pittbulls out there. Just know what you’re getting and don’t complain if you’re not happy with the outcome or how much this costs you, both financially and emotionally.
The goal isn’t to help you kill. You cannot pay a lawyer to “get custody.” You cannot pay a lawyer to “take everything from your cheating spouse.”
Get this straight: In a divorce, you are starting with half, if you are lucky. There is no winning in divorce. Do not be fooled by all the junk you hear about. They’re myths.
Your Divorce Lawyer Should Know the Law
A good divorce lawyer knows the law and will swiftly eliminate any delusions that you can use the law against your spouse. They’ll explain the myths and put you on the right track.
Your Divorce Lawyer Should Tell You When You are Unreasonable
Revenge and fighting is never the answer. Sometimes you have no choice because the other side is utterly unreasonable. That’s when you go to court. Never go to court when YOU are the unreasonable one because you will lose and then blame your lawyer.
Your Divorce Lawyer Should Be the Solution
Lawyers are problem solvers. Judges are there for when it is absolutely impossible to solve one or more of the problems in the case. Judges are not there to assign blame. They are there to break a deadlock.
Your Divorce Lawyer Needs Your Help
Lawyers need you to be honest with them about EVERYTHING.
Lawyers are not mind readers. If you don’t tell us, we do not know it.
Lawyers cannot testify in your place in court. You need to be prepared to tell your story to the judge.
Lawyers need you to give them all of the paperwork regarding your situation, past and present.
Lawyers need you to respond promptly to all communication.
If you move or change your phone number or email address, let us know immediately.
Be reasonable and don’t fight just for the sake of fighting!