What is a Nesting Agreement?

In a separation or divorce, maintaining as much stability and normalcy for children should be a priority. A great way to do that for parents who have the means is by reaching a nesting agreement. Nesting or bird nesting is when the children remain in the marital house, and the parents take turns living in the home with them. The visitation schedule will vary depending on the particular circumstances of the parties, with parents alternating every two weeks, weekly or with one coming for a weekend.

What are the benefits of a nesting agreement?

There are clear advantages to nesting. Divorce can be extremely devastating to children and being shuffled back and forth between one parent’s new apartment and their former home can add to the stress. In a nesting agreement, the children get to stay put and maintain their usual routine, familiar and comfortable surroundings and the stability of living in just one place. This often helps children to deal with the major changes going on around them. Nesting also allows the parents to secure a smaller second home or apartment since they don’t have to worry about having separate bedrooms for the children. Sometimes selling the marital home immediately would result in a financial loss to the parties, and being able to keep the home and continue to grow the equity can be beneficial to them later on.

What are the drawbacks of a nesting agreement?

Nesting isn’t for everyone, of course. Sometimes it is not financially feasible for both parents to get separate homes on top of maintaining the marital home. If the parents have issues with communication, then nesting can create even more issues because they need to work together to determine how the home must be maintained, which parent will pay the bills, which parent will be responsible for repairs and groceries, etc. A nesting agreement forces parents to interact more than they would if they both remained in their own home. Keeping the home can also cause the children to believe that the door is still open for the parents to reconcile.

Each family is different and the best way to determine what custody and visitation arrangement works best for your family is to discuss the pros and cons with an attorney at Commander Law. Together we can figure out what is best for your children and for you.


What about the dog?

commander law dog

This is an issue that comes up on occasion when negotiating the terms of a Separation Agreement. It may seem silly to people who don’t own a dog, but dog owners often are extremely emotionally attached to their pups and often feel similarly to them as they do about their children.

Virginia treats pets as personal property, no different than your favorite armchair. This means that pets are subject to the same rules regarding property and the court will consider whether the dog is marital property to be divided, or separate property that belongs only to one party. Obviously most dog parents will not want to simply sell the dog and split the proceeds to resolve the matter, which is why it is not unusual to have people ask if it is possible to enter into a visitation schedule for the dog!

The answer to that is Yes! As long as the parties agree, it is possible to specify a visitation schedule for a dog in a Separation Agreement. Other solutions treat the matter the same as they would determine where the children should live, and consider the best interest of the dog. Who is the dog most attached to? Who has more space for the dog to play and run around? Which party is the dog’s primary caregiver?

As with most divorce matters, the best solution is for the parties to negotiate and then agree to in a separation agreement rather than taking the issue in front of a judge.